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The First 72 Hours

You just heard the word autism. Here is the next three days.

A card for parents on the day of an autism diagnosis. For Indian families of non-verbal or minimally verbal children.

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Your child is the same child he was this morning. You are the same parent you were this morning. Nothing about him has changed today. You have a word now that you did not have yesterday. That is the only difference. Everything below is from parents who once stood where you are standing.

Tonight

Do

  • Eat something warm. Even if you are not hungry.
  • Hold him the way you held him last Tuesday. Nothing about him has changed.
  • Write down three things he already does well.
  • Tell one safe person. Not the family WhatsApp.
  • Go to sleep if you possibly can.

Do not

  • Call therapists at 11pm. None of the good ones answer at 11pm.
  • Announce it on the family WhatsApp tonight. That decision keeps.
  • Google "autism cure". There isn't one, because autism is not a disease.
  • Have the big five-year conversation with your spouse tonight. Tomorrow.

This Week

Do

  • Book a developmental paediatric assessment. Wait is 2-6 weeks, so book now.
  • Book a speech-language evaluation (ISHA-registered therapist).
  • Book an occupational therapy evaluation.
  • Ask for the diagnostic report in writing, on letterhead.
  • Widen the trusted circle by one more person, chosen carefully.

Do not

  • Start six therapies at once. One at a time, added in slowly.
  • Start an Ayurvedic "cure" regimen. Some preparations have tested positive for lead or mercury.
  • Remove gluten or casein without a clinical dietitian. Real risk of harm.
  • Read r/autism at 2am. The American forums are not the community you need.

The First Thirty Days

Do

  • Start one therapy once evaluations are in. Usually OT or ST first.
  • Keep a "little victories" notebook. Aaj usne khud kiya.
  • Apply for the disability certificate and UDID card. Four to eight weeks to arrive.
  • Find your city's parent group (Nayi Disha, Autism Parents Forum, VOICE, SCAN).

Do not

  • Pull him out of school. Familiar routine is stabilising.
  • Quit your job. This month is not the month for that call.
  • Let your peace be owned by blaming relatives.
  • Compare his progress to another autistic child's. Different children, different roads.