Another child is staring at my autistic child - how to handle it
You're at the park and your child is happily stimming with their hands or tapping on their Avaz device. Then you notice it - another child standing three feet away, staring openly. Not looking away when you make eye contact. Just... staring. Your stomach tightens because you can see your child starting to notice too.
The other parent is either completely oblivious or pretending not to see. You want to protect your child but you also don't want to create a scene. You're stuck between feeling defensive and wanting to educate, and honestly, you're just tired of these moments happening over and over again.
Print, watch, or load into your AAC device.
Why children stare (and it's not what you think)
Children stare because they're genuinely curious, not mean. To them, an AAC device looks like the coolest tablet game ever. Hand flapping or rocking might be the most interesting thing they've seen all day. Their developing brains are literally wired to notice anything different and study it.
Research shows that neurotypical children under 12 don't yet have the social filter that tells them "don't stare." They're not being rude on purpose - they simply haven't learned that prolonged staring makes people uncomfortable.
Your autistic child might notice the staring more intensely than you'd expect. Many autistic children have heightened awareness of being watched, even if they seem absorbed in their own activity. This comes from differences in social processing and sensory sensitivity.
The staring often gets worse when your child uses their AAC device because it makes sounds and lights up. To other children, it looks like a magical talking machine. They want to understand how it works and why this child gets to have such a "cool toy" in public.
What works in the moment
- Address the staring child directly, warmly: "Hi! You seem curious about my child's communication device." This gives them permission to ask instead of just staring. Most children will either ask a question or move on.
- Use simple, concrete language: "This is how [child's name] talks. It's called an AAC device, like a special tablet for talking." Avoid long explanations about autism. Children understand "different ways to talk" better than medical terms.
- Involve your child if they're comfortable: Ask your child to show one button like "hi" on their device. Many children love demonstrating their Avaz when they feel in control of the situation.
- Redirect with an activity: "Would you like to wave hello to [child's name]? They might wave back." This gives both children something concrete to do together instead of just staring.
- Set a gentle boundary: "It's okay to look, but staring for a long time can make people uncomfortable. What questions do you have?" This teaches the child about respectful curiosity.
- Signal to your child that you've handled it: Touch your child's shoulder or make brief eye contact to let them know you've noticed and taken care of the situation.
- If the staring continues, be firmer: "I can see you're really interested, but now it's time to give us some space to play." Then physically position yourself between the children if needed.
- Have your child's AAC ready with social words: If your child wants to interact, having "hi," "bye," "play," and "look" ready can help them participate in the conversation on their terms.
Teach it ahead of time
Social stories work because they let your child rehearse social situations when they're calm and regulated. Their brain can process the information without the stress of actually being stared at. This mental practice helps them recognise the situation and remember their options when it happens in real life.
Create a simple story: "Sometimes other children look at my Avaz device. They are curious about how I talk. I can say 'hi' on my device or wave. Mummy will help talk to them. When I'm ready, I can say 'bye' and we can move to a different area." Practice this twice a week during calm moments at home.
What NOT to do
Don't ignore it and hope it stops: The staring usually continues and can escalate your child's anxiety.
Don't get angry at the curious child: They're genuinely trying to understand and will learn better from patient explanation than from being told off.
Don't over-explain autism to young children: "Different ways to communicate" makes more sense to them than medical terminology.
Don't force your child to interact: Some days they'll want to show off their device, other days they'll want to be left alone, and both are perfectly fine.
Don't assume the other parent will intervene: Many parents genuinely don't notice their child is staring, especially if they're managing other children or distractions.
A gentle reminder
Your child is doing their best to exist in a world that wasn't designed for them. You're doing your best to help them get through social situations that can feel overwhelming. These moments of curiosity from other children, while uncomfortable, are often opportunities for your child to practice social skills in a low-pressure situation. Some of your child's most meaningful friendships might start with curiosity about their AAC device.
Parents also ask
What if the other parent gets defensive when I talk to their child?
Stay calm and explain that you're just helping both children understand each other. Most parents appreciate when someone handles the situation kindly rather than letting awkwardness build.
Should I always make my child interact with curious children?
Never force interaction. Some days your child will want to show their device, other days they need space. Follow their lead and respect their social energy levels.
What if my child gets upset when other children stare?
Acknowledge their feelings first, then address the staring child. You might say "I see that made you uncomfortable" to your child, then handle the situation with the other child.
How do I explain AAC devices to very young children who are staring?
Keep it simple: "This is how [name] talks. It's like a special tablet that helps them say words." Young children understand "different ways to talk" better than complex explanations.
What if my child starts stimming more when being stared at?
This is often a sign of increased anxiety. Address the staring situation first, then help your child regulate. Consider moving to a quieter space if the stimming is escalating.
More in Social situations
See all Social situations stories →
A wrong AAC symbol, a tile that confuses your child, clinical guidance that doesn't match your therapist's advice — tell us and we'll fix it within a week. This library gets better when families push back.
We send one short new social story + printable per week, written for families of nonverbal kids. No filler.